I know that if she were still living she and I would have sat together and wept for every single person affected by this tragedy.
Then I know we would have prayed for every person involved in this tragedy.
I know we would have eventually ended up eating something really bad for us and laughing at some kind of silliness until the wee hours of the night. And I missed her again even more. I tried to shake off the sad feeling all weekend.
Then this morning I looked at all my kiddos. The two girlies at home and the little stinkers in my classroom. I thought of how we needed to get on with the busy-ness of the holiday season. Life has to go on and there is no shame in living it completely.
Then, I needed glitter. Then I giggled. Because you know what?
Grandma Pat left me a huge present. She left me bottles and bottles of the stuff. So, tomorrow we will create with my favorite color and we will think and thank Grandma Pat for her gifts.
And, somehow I know she will be giggling and saying this: "Make this season the most joyous you can for those babies, Carinna!" And I know she will also giggle at the fact that my room is a disaster right now. But she won't care. Because I will be doing what she thought was the most important thing of all. Making these kiddos smile and making them feel as special as possible.
Live life and don't feel guilt, remorse or embarrassed by living it to the fullest, today. Tomorrow may never come.