Friday, December 28, 2012

The Elves in Brown Shorts and Baseball Caps

Picture this...
You're pulling into your driveway after a long day of sparkle producing showbiz making. You are plum tuckered out and the two most precious productions of your life are in the throws of a first class slap fest in the back seat. You are contemplating filming it and sending a copy to the producers of WWA Smackdown.
     You know for sure the two lovelies could hold their own with the likes of The Hulkster and The Rock. Could this be your avenue to early retirement? Oooh, pedicures, cooks, daily massages. A personal assistant! You think about it again. Not even Andre The Giant could handle those two. You couldn't do that to innocent men and still live with yourself.   
(I know. I'm dating myself. But back in the day they were the ones to beat...ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE!!!)
You're jolted out of your mini imagication.  All of a sudden.... time stops. You look around...there aren't any ice cream trucks...Nope. What caused this hiccup in the space-time continuum is the vision awaiting you at the entrance to your driveway. The sight of this vehicle rivals that of Santa's sleigh. It's big and white and has big blue lettering on the side of it. You know what it is.
      It's the Fed-Ex truuuuuck!!
      The two Princesas  in the back seat hardly wait for you to park their carriage. Doors fly open. They bolt out....and then they groan in dismay as the truck pulls away, But wait. They streak towards the front door. And you hear the squeals of delight!   
Picture this...
     You hit the send button on your keyboard. Then, you wait for several days.
And you wait. And you wait. And you wait!
And then..just when you think you can't wait any longer and you forget about hitting that send button altogether.
This happens...
     It usually happens on a quiet Saturday morning when you've dragged yourself out of bed and don't have the desire nor the need to even brush your teeth. And why should you. You're on a well deserved two day imagication!
     You've decided to have a mini one person strike
(Suurrre baby, you can have chocolate covered peanut butter balls for breakfast. Just make sure you have glass of milk with it...GWH, where's my coffeee!)
     Then for some reason the family decides that this may be a good day to go treasure hunting... without you.
(Be afwaid. Be vewy afwaid. Mommas in a mooood!)
     Then, you find yourself pacing your living room floor. You make a cup of tea. You turn the TV on... then off..then on... then just as you think perhaps you may have to go outside, dig a hole and fill it back up just to keep your wits about you, you hear it...
     The downshift of a motor. The screech of brakes. Then... nothin'. Then you hear more signs of life and then...and then...and hear one of the sweetest sounds on earth.
The sound  of big metal truck doors rolling!!!
 You run towards your front door Then you stop. Panic sets in because you remember that you're still in your jammies and you curse yourself for striking on that particular morning. You rush to throw on your robe and brush your teeth. You frantically run your husband's comb through your hair.
 You try not to catch a sideways glance at yourself in the mirror.
(Oh shizzle!!!)
 And the doorbell rings.
The doorbell rings again. What should you do???
(Aaah, forget it!)
You throw a baseball cap on your head and you open the front door.
And before you stands one of the most wondrous sights to behold! It's another of Santa's helpers! However, this helper isn't three feet tall. He isn't wearing yellow stockings, little green shorts and pointy little shoes.
Nope. This helper is wearing the uniform that can make many a lady's heart go pitter-pat and the little boy in many grown men do the happy dance. It's Santa's helper in the brown shorts and brown baseball cap.
It's the UPS delivery maaaaan!
     He smiles at you and you see the sparkle in his eye and swear you hear bells chime. He hands you the pad to sign, tips his hat and gives you the goods you've been waiting for. You already know what it is but the five year old child in you cannot be contained and you tear through the packaging like Christmas morning all over again! And you do a little happy dance!
The Lesson
     Today I was reminded that there are many sounds that can conjure up the same butterflies in the tummy, can't keep peeking out the window, hand wringing, nervous energy that those of ice cream trucks and Santa's sleigh bells do. We're all kiddos inside anyway. Don'tcha agree?

So, whattaya waiting for. Go hit that send button and treat yourself or someone you love to a little surprise. And if you don't want to spend a whole lot of moolah you can always send a postcard! People love, love, love getting "real" mail! And too, remember to thank those hard working men and women who I like to refer to as Santa's helpers too!
 Hey,I just had a revolvization. Those caps hide their eeears!!!



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