Tuesday, April 9, 2013

H is for Heartbreak


     "How are you doing?" she asked. "Not too well. I've never felt like this before. My entire body feels like it's on fire. I can't seem to make it stop. The heat creeps up on me out of nowhere.  It gets so bad sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. It starts at my feet and slowly crawls up through and over my legs. It rises on throughout my hips and pelvis, and then across my stomach until it eventually consumes my entire torso.  Then it lingers there awhile in my heart, and that really hurts. With every beat it feels as if someone is thrusting an iron poker into it," She choked back a sob and tried to breath. "Then it continues it's rise and simmers at my neck and shoulders. When it's done consuming that part of my body, it continues on it's path to my head and settles there until the pounding and ringing in my ears are so intense that the thrushing of my heart trying to stop it closes out all outside noise. I feel like I'm losing my mind. When will it end? Will it ever end? Will I always feel like my entire body and soul are going up in flames. Will this all consuming ache ever stop taking over my entire being? Will I ever feel whole again? Will it stop hurting?" 
     She looked at her with sympathetic eyes. She held back a tear and she forced a smile. That's what this friend needed right now.
      She thought she felt her heart start to pound. But it wasn't. It was the echo of an ache from long ago. The echo of a pain, long ago forgiven, but not forgotten. It beat out it's dull reminder. "Did you forget about me? Did you bring someone to keep me company? Did you bring someone to share this empty space? I feel so much better when I'm not alone. I don't like being alone," it said.  "Sssh. Not now," she whispered to her heart. 
     She looked at her friend. She touched her arm, cocked her head to the side, she smiled and she repeated the words once spoken to her. "It will go away. It will get better. It will stop. You will get through this and you will be fine. I promise. Just hang on. You are not alone."

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